Negotiation - The Problem with "Win/Win" Negotiating
Bill McCormickWhat's the Problem?
You cannot read a book or an article about negotiation without seeing the phrase "win/win".
You cannot listen to an audiotape about negotiation without hearing the phrase "win/win.
And, worst of all, you cannot negotiate without the other party saying something like "...let's make this a win/win". Which, incidentally, almost always signals that the other side means the exact opposite!
In our experience, the problem with the phrase "win/win" is it is overused, at best, and misunderstood and misapplied, at worst. And, if most people answered honestly, they probably would agree with a comment that we heard from a previous attendee in one of our negotiation workshops, who said:
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"What win/win means to me is that I win and the other side thinks they won. But they really didn't."
A Better Way
Three magic words: "Both sides gain." If, prior to a negotiation, you can think of some alternatives and options that will result in an agreement where both parties can say that they have gained, you increasethe likelihood that a mutually beneficial outcome will be reached.
If, during the negotiation, you brainstorm and discuss possible solutions that are mutually beneficial, you will have built the basis for a long-term relationship.
If, after the negotiation is over, you can honestly say that you have reached an agreement where you are better off than before and the other party is better off than before, then both sides have truly gained. This, to us, is the real spirit and meaning of win/win. Ironically, you get there by actions and not by simply saying the words.
How Do You Make It Happen?
Okay, easy to say "both sides gain". The hard part is making it happen. Let's offer three general guidelines that will help you get started:
1. In the planning process, identify your critical needs and objectives before the negotiation begins. Then you'll know how to assess what "a gain" means for you. To the greatest extent possible, try to anticipate what the other party would consider a "gain", and make this part of your plan as well.
2. During the negotiation, explore for options and alternatives. Make this a dialogue. This means asking the right questions, which we teach in our workshop. If we could identify one skill that would most likely indicate whether or not a "both sides gain" outcome is likely, it would be the frequency and quality of the questions asked during the negotiation.
3. Don't limit yourself to price only! If you do, you aren't negotiating. You're haggling. Successful negotiators look for alternative currencies other than price. Two related planning questions help focus your thinking on this subject:
- "What can I give the other party besides price that would have value for them?"
- "What can they give me besides price that would have value for me?"
Where Do You Go From Here?
This article provides a synopsis of one of the key topics from our Sales Negotiation Skills Workshop. Click on the link to find out more about the workshop. And, if you have a question or want to discuss the subject of "negotiation" in more detail, send us an email. Thanks.
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